Reading Group Discussion Questions for If You Leave Me
- If You Leave Me shifts perspectives between multiple characters. How do Haemi’s, Kyunghwan’s, Jisoo’s, Hyunki’s, and Solee’s contrasting voices shape your experience reading the novel?
- Compare and contrast Haemi, Jisoo, and Kyunghwan. How do their different backgrounds—gender, class, family, and access to education—define each of them and affect their experiences during the Korean War? How are their experiences expressed later on in their lives?
- Think about Haemi. Do you think she was like most ordinary Korean girls of the period? How do you feel about the choices she makes throughout the novel?
- What do you think about Haemi’s decision to marry and stay with Jisoo? Was it about survival, or something else? Do you think Haemi would have chosen a different husband if it weren’t for the events of the Korean War?
- Discuss the idea of home in If You Leave Me. How do you think the definition of home changes for each of the main characters throughout the story?
- How does Haemi and Hyunki’s sibling relationship change after the war? What do you make of their relationship at the end of the story? Do you think they’ve forgiven each other?
- How does If You Leave Me explore the topics of womanhood and gender expectations during this time in history?
- What do the two Solee chapters teach us about Haemi’s relationship with her children? What do you make of Solee’s understanding about her mother’s past life? What remains a mystery for Solee at the end of the novel?
- Why do you think the novel is called If You Leave Me? How many characters does this apply to—and who leaves who?
- Has reading this novel given you a new appreciation of the wounds war leaves behind, even once the fighting is done? What insights does If You Leave Me hold for our time?